I kept dreaming about the day when I'm finally going to get my first pay cheque in the form of an electronic bank transfer so that I can do what I want with it. My wish list started small: an iPhone and probably hair highlights. I was thinking blue but I don't think the hospital would take too kindly to that so maybe red.

Then one by one my footwear started giving way and I'm down to two, maybe three, pairs of what I deem are wearable. Of course I still have my heels but they're not for everyday use. I end up trying to find clothes that can match my shoes, instead of the other way around like normal people, so I think I can conclude that I am officially in a shoe crisis.

God, I sound like a dumb blonde on MTV.

Also, every sane girl needs her clothes. The hospital doesn't allow us to wear our uniforms to work hence I need more clothes! So much for not having the headache of thinking what to wear every day.

A new digicam is also in order. My old one is working fine but I NEED higher megapixels and one that can change ISO settings.

Since my laptop seems to be giving me signs that it might take its last breath soon, I have to get an external hard drive to back up my photos and music (when I finally get around to downloading a respectable amount).

Plus, I wanna get a pet baby giraffe, go into space and buy everyone a hot fudge sundae with sprinkles and whipped cream. None of that maraschino cherry nonsense though, can't stand those things.

Of course, the last paragraph is not true and was only added in because I realised my list sounded so boring, it'd put the dead to sleep.

So now I've gotten a little bit of my millions and I can only cross out one thing on the list: the phone. How sad is that?

Don't answer that question, please.





What a weekend! Nope, not really because of F1 cos the race was sorta boring, but because I caught NICK CARTER'S T-SHIRT!

Here's the proof:




Ta-dah!



Actually I brought home only half of it but that part comes later. I can't quite believe it really but maybe it'll sink in tomorrow. You know, I was always one of those girls who wished and wished that I was the one who caught whatever the boys threw but I never was because I just wasn't near enough. Well, not this time! The damn t-shirt was coming right over my head and I stretched out to grab it, sort of stumbled backwards and hung onto it for dear life. Unfortunately, so was this other girl from Indonesia. The surrounding people were looking at us in a very amused and, I'd like to think, envious, fashion haha. Flashbulbs started popping and I felt like a D-list celebrity.

I begged her to give it to me but of course, being a fan, she wouldn't so we agreed to cut the prized possession in half. I can solemnly swear that I caught it but oh well, better half than nothing. Then, like, a million people wanted to take a photo with it and some started smelling it. I thought it'd smell like, you know, sweat but very strangely, it smelled like detergent. Nick sweats detergent! As Arisya says, then he probably farts rainbows and burps perfume.

We went on a scissors hunt after the chaos died down and some kebab stall lent us theirs, after first making sure we weren't going to use it to cut up the person who got the shirt into little pieces. I kid.

It's like I waited my whole life, for this one night.

Once again, I feel obliged to give my thanks to someone who'll never see it. She's an old schoolmate of ours and without her, I wouldn't have been screaming and jumping like a maniac and thoroughly embarrassing myself on 27 Sept 2009. So thank you, Saerah and boyfriend, for being too cool to watch the Backstreet Boys and lending us your passes.

We've now watched them in concert for 3 consecutive years! I really don't know what to say because I'm like 22, my generation has moved on to bands like Simple Plan and whatnot, and here I am: screaming like a 15-year-old and still harbouring a secret hope that one day, I'll get to see them live in the US, preferably Orlando, their hometown.

One last childish dig at 'NSync: To my knowledge, BSB has never been accused of and proven to be lip-syncing. Hah!

KTBPA.





"Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." - G. K. Chesterton

I've come to the end of my first week of being "gainfully employed", as Jaden would say. It wasn't so bad, but mainly because I'm certain that the staff are taking things really slowly with me. I'm not sure if this is a good thing because it probably lulls me into a false sense of belief that I can actually do this but I guess it's better than hitting me with the hard truths from the get-go.

I really like the environment of the clinic though there are few nurses who are around the same age. Talking about age, apparently I look older than I am! So far, no one's been able to guess my correct age and most of them are at least 2 years off. GAH. Anyhoo, the environment's great because it's like a minor operating theatre so I wear a gown nearly all the time. Thus at the end of the day, I feel rather clean and not grimy at all. Yet at the same time, it's not so sterile that I have to be conscious of every move I make lest I get contaminated by germs. Did I also mention that the place is air-conditioned? :) and I haven't even said the best part yet: I actually get home at a reasonable hour because there's no shift work!

It helps that my preceptor's extremely nice and get this, she's a mother and a freakin' Twilight fan! Instant connection haha. She's from the Philippines and so are half the staff, I think. I feel a little like an outsider when they all get together in the lunch room but it's my fault too since most of the time I prefer to keep to myself and read. It's not that they don't try to include me in some of their conversation, but honestly, I just haven't clicked with anyone so far and so haven't felt the desire to mingle much. I feel like a big fake when I talk to them. It might be because I still feel like I'm a student and they are my superiors rather than my colleagues. I shall have to get used to the fact that I'm now on the same level as most of them.

Other than that, I'm familiarising myself with the layout and routine of the clinic. I've managed to participate in two common procedures and gotten to know some of the doctors. No good-looking, young ones so far (BOOO) but one of them has made quite an impression on me with his distinguished looks and the way he carries himself.

All in all, it's been a more eventful first week than most of my hospital attachments. On the first day, a patient fell in the toilet and had to go for surgery. THANK GOD I wasn't the nurse in charge of her. We also found one of the cleaners asleep and snoring in the toilet-with-a-bed. He was dead to the world! We knocked and called out, worrying that it was a patient inside and when we finally managed to unlock the door, he still didn't wake up! I assume he was fired or suspended because I didn't see him any more. And the grand finale: some unmarried dude in his 60s, who was hard of hearing, kept asking us to give him a kiss and displayed the family jewels when I was helping him in the toilet. Can I say Eeeew?

I really hope that I'll be happy here and be able to face whatever adversities that might come my way. Especially that little matter of being on-call in a year's time but I'll scale that wall when I come to it.

On the other (powder-free latex-gloved) hand, here's the latest New Moon trailer. Love the wolf pack and Jacob's totally burnin up the screen.



Happy birthday, Kang Hao.





My ass is getting bigger and bigger as each new day passes. Blame it on the TV shows, the non-stop guzzling and the fact that I still am not working.

It was discussed that I would probably commence on 1st or 7th Sept but it's now the 6th and I haven't even been able to collect my work permit yet. Tentatively I might be beginning on 14th Sept. This means that I'll miss the hospital orientation that Joey is going for which greatly saddens me cos I'll have to go by myself for the October one. No friendly faces on the first day! HOW?

But let us leave the burdens of the working world behind because I'm about to share with you how productive I've been during my Lazy Month! I've finished Lost and Ugly Betty, like FINALLY, and started on How I Met Your Mother which is hi... wait for it ...larious. Hell's Kitchen 6 is also out so my daily dose of expletives and food is taken care of. Then of course there's the almighty cable tv so I've been gorging on food shows, cartoons, crime shows and E! News.

I do get tired of the gogglebox sometimes, which is not unexpected for someone who stays at home and watches it for half a day so I then turn to books to keep me occupied. The Marine Parade Library has an on-going auction thingamajig where you use books as points to bid for - what else? - book hampers so I've been borrowing hardcovers and paperbacks on a regular basis. I'm sure there are those disgusting people that borrow and shortly after, return the books just to get the points and I have toyed with the idea but decided I wanted to win fair and square.

I've realised that this is the only activity that doesn't eat up a single cent as (a) I walk to the library and back so I don't spend on transport and God knows I need the exercise, and (b) I don't use up any electricity cos I read by the window (no need for lights!) and a constant gentle breeze keeps me cool (no need for a fan!). I feel awesome whenever I read because it means I don't have to ask my mother for money, which I absolutely hate, especially now when I'm just lying around.

When words start swimming, I then look to the online community to entertain me. Blogs, Facebook, Twitter, online contests, etc. I'm trying to participate in whatever contest I can find in the hopes of winning something and selling it off to get me extra moolah. I've also gone back to free downloadable Yahoo! Games :\ I'm so embarrassed but seriously after a month of the above, you have to find new things to do.

I'm also concerned with the issue of my taking one too many deep breaths throughout the day. It starts as early as one hour after I wake up which is BAD. I have no idea what's wrong and can only guess that since I've not been resting well recently, my body is too tired to breathe at a normal rate and has to take deep yawns to compensate. I've never had to concentrate so hard on breathing, for God's sake.

So there you have it: the secret life of the Indonesian unemployed.







Edit: I was so engrossed in describing what I went through and what the job's all about, that I actually didn't say what I'm going to be working as! So anyway, I'm a nurse at the Endoscopy Clinic in NUH. I realised that it slipped my mind to ask if I was working on public holidays and I've already signed on the dotted line. I kinda just assumed that since I don't work on Sundays, public holidays were free too but in the health care industry, seriously you just never know.

After about a week of properly job-hunting, I managed to land one. It's really all thanks to Huishan and her sister-in-law so even though she doesn't read this, I still feel the need to show my appreciation so THANKS!

I was lost, aimless, clicking on ad after ad trying to find something that would suit my nature. Regular hours, something not too taxing and matched my qualifications; I wasn't that fussy, in my opinion. Sent out a few applications but got no call backs but it had only been a week anyway. Most companies need about 2 weeks probably, I rationalised.

Then Huishan referred me to her da sao who works for a recruitment company dealing with the NHG cluster. Within hours, an interview date was settled upon and after the meet-up, I was offered the job three hours later. All this before noon. I would be a fool not to take it so I accepted the same day.

The hours are rather long (nine, to be exact) and the job sounded tougher than expected but I guess the pay is commensurate with the job scope. Though if I were to minus the housing allowance (one perk of being an alien), my salary dwindles significantly. This will most likely happen if and when I get PR status here. I have to be on on-call duty as well when I start a second year in the clinic, something which scares me to no end but I'll convince myself to worry about that when the time comes. I suppose, like so many others, it's the fear of the unknown that will keep me awake.

But it's time to focus on the here and now.

I keep telling myself that if so many other people can do it, so can I. However, telling yourself is one thing, believing it is quite another.





We came but did not conquer.

Although we didn't achieve what we set out to do, I hope the friendships forged will be stronger than many of those found in hall because no committee, sport or cultural groups is quite like Rag. Many, including my own father, will say that I'm stupid and wasting my time, joining something after I've graduated but to these people I say: I have the rest of my life to work so why not let me finish up and enjoy my last school activity ever?

Rag 0910: Incandescence was one that was filled with much laughter, tears and memories that will stay with me for a long time.

My only regret? That I'm no longer in hall to see all of you on a regular basis any more.





Nope, I'm not dead after eating "vanilla ice-cream with raspberries and blueberries between two chocolate brownies". For those who don't know about thisiswhyyourefat.com, please check it out. Some of the food may revolt you, some will make you go "Oooh that actually sounds rather good" (like the one above) but most will probably get you thinking about whether people actually eat the stuff.

Anyway, this is for the few people vaguely interested in an update about my life. I AM GRADUATING. Yes, D-day for me is finally here. Well, not here here, but on Tuesday.

I don't quite feel it yet, mostly because I'm participating in Rag 0910. The next logical question would then be why I'm still in hall slaving away for the 8th of August. And my answer to that logical question would be simply because I'd like to be there at the SRC, feeling the adrenaline rush and the rollercoaster of emotions. Besides, this is the last time I'm going to be standing in a sea of friends, hoping and praying for the same thing, cheering like a maniac if we win and supporting each other if we don't. It helps that doing this makes me forget that I'm no longer a student but an adult about to step into the working world, something which honestly scares the hell outta me.

So, of course now I'm job hunting, sorta. As much as I'm ashamed to admit, I don't have much ambition regarding work. I just want something that will provide my daily bread and enough dough to support my parents.

I've already completely ruled out working in the wards and am now looking at outpatient clinics and other nine-to-five gigs, which may or may not be related to the healthcare sector. I honestly didn't realise how bloody tiring shift work would be and as superficial as it may sound, I didn't like the toll it took on my social life. I mean, I want my evenings free to spend time with friends and dammit, I want my public holidays whenever everyone else gets them. I like being normal and not working from 10pm till 7am the next day, thank you very much.

Le sigh. I joined nursing because I wanted to help disaster victims, as cliched as that may sound. Somewhere along the way, I've lost sight of that and unlike Carlos Solis, never regained my vision back. I still do want to aid others - I have this dream of sponsoring an Indian slum kid's education - but I honestly don't think I'll be doing that as a professional in white.