Thursday, August 14, 2008

Regret is a dirty word

There's many a time when I wish that I had chosen a more conventional route when I entered NUS. I know I've told plenty of people about this but strangely, I have yet to blog about it. Well today something my lecturer mentioned made me resent my decision even more. I know nursing is a course unlike any other but does it have to be SO different?

I feel cheated out of my university life. Because of my attachment, I've been deprived of a full 3 months of holiday that other people get. Yes yes, they may be doing internships and attachments too but most are out of choice. Because of my course, I don't get to go on SEP/NOC/Work and Travel/immersions/overseas trips and whatnot. I'm most bitter about not being able to go away for SEP cos going abroad to study has been something that I've desired ever since I knew such a programme existed. My good friends have already/are going to the US, UK, Europe, blah blah, and I'm stuck here in sunny Singapore. It's akin to prison really.

Alright fine, I'm exaggerating just a little about the prison part but I feel trapped here and it's only serving to increase my dislike over the course I picked.

Now I find out that Year 3 Semester 2 is only going to be 9 weeks! When everyone else is busy watching concerts, I'll be busy studying for exams. When everyone else is mugging together during the pre-exam period, I'll be on attachment. I feel so disconnected from the rest of NUS and it doesn't help that my faculty thinks they can anyhow put make-up lectures anywhere and we're supposed to heck care about our electives because we're supposed to "choose what's more important." It only serves to segregate us from the community even more and I really don't like that.

I think I may just become a tour guide one day. Or a conservationist.

I suppose saving the earth is more important than showing people the sights, yes?

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