Implosion

The day before yesterday, I felt like my head was going to explode. I was feeling so stressed out, from choosing a TM to being captain to being Pub I/C. I just feel that I'm an incompetent impostor who's trying to be all these things.

Later in the shower, I asked myself how in the world did I get myself into such a situation. Being captain is stressful enough cos I have a lot to learn and now Pub I/C. *smacks myself on the head*

I always imagine that people have all sorts of high expectations of me and no matter how much they say they don't, the fear of letting them down is always there. Maybe one day I'll just learn not to care so much about things that aren't really important. I've constantly said that I'll do my best in everything I attempt, even if it isn't by choice. I mean, I have to do it anyway so why not give it my all?

Lately though, I'm beginning to feel that if it isn't so important, then I don't have to put in so much effort. I really wanted to slack a bit in hall this sem but looks like I can't. Rag drained out more from me than I expected and I'm just feeling tired. Need to focus more on my studies and less on hall stuff. Not to say that I'll shirk my duties, but that I won't prioritise hall any more. I've given up too much already...